Friday, February 10, 2017

How to Get an Apology without a Fight in a Relationship

I was thinking about the word "Happiness" and this thought dropped in my mind and I feel like it won’t be fair keeping it to myself. Over the years I have attended several meetings that have shaped my mind and giving me the kind of mindset that I have today. So what has the word happiness got to do with my topic?

Everyone is one relationship or the other and we all experience some challenges in the process. Challenges come and go but how you make one feel afterwards is what will determine how well the relationship will continue. Challenges and fights either make a relationship or mar it. Either way is really dependent on our reactions.

If someone you really care about offends you in such a way you wish they didn’t, what would you do? Not so many people know how to handle situations when they are offended irrespective of the fact that they have knowledge and experiences in human relationship. Some things are not as difficult as we think; sometimes all we just need to do is think about the other person involved in the mess with you. There are simple ways to handle matters without causing more trouble. The simple word that takes care of this is "care." If you care enough about the one whose offense has caused some sort of grievance in your heart, all you need to do is express your grievances in such a way it communicates your displeasure to the person that offended you and help the person apologize. In most cases, people don't do this; they express themselves in such a way it gets the offender angrier than they were when they were offended by the offender’s offense.

An English saying goes “sorry is the hardest word.” This is not because it is hard to pronounce or spell, but because you have to admit that you have done something wrong. If you already know that saying the word “sorry” is hard why not help the person that’s suppose to say it to you even when you are not happy?

So my questions are, what are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to get an apology? Are you trying to stop the person from repeating the same offense? What exactly do you want? Maybe when you learn to answer these questions before you react to an offense, you will have a better style of expression that gets you the required result. If you ask me, I think it is always better to have the offender's feeling in mind (most especially if it's someone you really care about). Your expression should get the offender remorseful and not angry. That's the only way you will get an apology. Every relationship works better when those involved in it genuinely care about each other. Express yourself the way you want to but also think about the person you are expressing yourself to because.

Like a friend of mine would say “words are like stones, weigh them before you throw them.” This simply means the size of stone you throw shows the kind of damage you are trying to make.

It applies to both sexes. #ThinkAboutIt